Not So Secret
by PinkRangerV
Summary: When Kimberly's bratty little brother discovers the secret of the Rangers, can they get out of the mess they're in? AU, in the style of Of Love and Bunnies. TommyKim.
1. Discovery

A\N: I needed a new subject. So I picked something upbeat. Why not? And anyways, it's better than my brother's suggestion: They all die, the end.

* * *

Kimberly felt perfect.

Tommy's arm was around her shoulders, her hair was flying back in the breeze, and the sun was shining. There hadn't been a monster attack in days. How much more perfect could you get?

Then they pulled up at her house, and everything went straight downhill.

Kimberly sighed, hopping out of the car. "Jacob Hart, get your butt off that trampoline this second! You're supposed to be doing your homework!"

Jake kept jumping. "You can't tell me what to do-o, you can't tell me what to do-o." He singsonged.

"Hey, squirt. Go inside." Tommy tried. Jake occasionally listened to him.

Jake ignored him, too. "Wanna know why you can't tell me what to do?"

"Why." Kimberly gritted out. The brat was annoying as heck.

Jake stopped bouncing and held up a small, pink-fur covered book. "I found your dia-ry." He sang. "And I know all about you." He flipped the book open while Kimberly stared in disbelief. "Let's see. June third. Dear Diary. I'm soooo in love with Tommy. I can't stop thinking about him. I even _duh-ream_about him. He's soooo cute."

Kimberly, now a shade of bright pink that matched her shirt, reached in her pocket. This boy deserved _torture_.

"What's that?" Jake asked.

Kimberly held up Jake's favorite movie. "Ten seconds. Then it goes. Because, believe me, I can snap it _right in half_."

Jake's smile was reminiscent of a movie demon child's. "Really, _Pink Ranger_?" He flipped to another page. "April seventeenth. Dear Diary, today I became a Power Ranger. I don't know if I can hurt anyone."

Kimberly came very close to beating the boy to death, but Tommy stepped in. "Come on, man. Give it back."

"Why?"

"Because we're the good guys." Tommy said, smiling disarmingly. "And we save the world. Isn't that worth a little silence on your part?"

"Nope."

The entire Ranger team stared in disbelief.

Jake hopped off the trampoline. "You're the Pink Ranger. You and Tommy've had...ten dates so far. Tommy was the evil Green Ranger. Trini's Yellow, Zack's Black--well, duh--"

"--Hey!"

"--And Billy's Blue." Jake smiled again. This smile was triumphant, victorious. "I'm gonna go watch TV. And if you don't let me do what I want, Mom and Dad are gonna know all about you guys."

Jake sauntered into the house.

The Rangers just...stood there. It was kind of hard not to, when your secret had just been blown to kingdom come by a ten-year-old.

"Damage control." Jason managed. "Now."

"I'm on stealing the diary back. Billy, Zack, come on." Trini said.

"I'll go distract him." Tommy offered. "Wanna help, bro?"

"And when this is over," Kimberly snarled, "I'm gonna murder him."


	2. Gatorade

A\N: Yes! I'm getting it right! This is really, really fun.

* * *

"YOU LITTLE **_BRAT_**!"

"Kim, Kim, volume." Jake smiled winningly up at his sister.

"I'LL SHOW YOU VOLUME!"

Tommy grabbed his girlfreind's arms and cautiously pinned them behind her back. As much as she scared him, he sometimes felt like she was a twig compared to him. Which was strange, because she was so strong...

Kimberly tried to yank her arms free. "Let go, Tommy. He's getting pounded. Now."

"No, he's not."

Jason held up the book Zack handed him. "Here you go, Kim. Now, Jake, do I need to tell you what'll happen if you tell anyone?"

Jake's eyes widened. "You...you wouldn't hurt me, would you? Jason..."

Kimberly smirked evilly. "No. _I will_."

Jake suddenly looked tiny, scared, and very cute.

"Damnit." Tommy muttered, summing up everyone's feelings pretty easily.

"Okay, fine. One word, though--"

"And the whole world knows." Jake hissed. "One word from me? And reporters are all over your doors. I won't go to Mom and Dad now. I'll go to the Daily Angel."

The Rangers exchanged glances.

"They won't believe you, little boy." Kimberly threatened quietly. Tommy felt a pang of worry. She was scared. Heck, they were all scared.

Jake smiled brilliantly. "But they might. And since they might, I want a soda."

"It's three in the afternoon." Kimberly gritted out. "Do you really think I'm gonna--"

"Let me do anything I like?" Jake grinned. "Yep!"

The Rangers looked at each other.

"Gatorade?"

"Cooler could hurt him." Tommy replied. "Zordon'd blow a fuse."

"Well, then," Trini replied sweetly, "We'll just have to miss."

She vanished, and the Rangers looked around.

Trini returned bearing a giant barrel cooler of Gatorade intended for the game. She threw it over Jake.

"Now." She said satisfactiorily. "Let's--"

Jake ran.

Luckily, the Rangers had a plan.

"GET HIM!"

* * *

End Notes: "Luckily, the Rangers had a plan. GET HIM!" is from Of Love and Bunnies. If you haven't read it, read it. It's brilliant.

Now, as much as I'd love seeing my ideas elsewhere, please, please don't steal the Gatorade thing. I'm going to use it for the book I'm writing, and I really want it to be a surprise to the nonfanfic community. So pretty please with a puppy dog on top, leave the Gatorade alone!


	3. Apprentice

A\N: Muahaha...I am the Evil, Evil Author! And soon you'll see why...Muahaha!

* * *

Zedd looked down from the Lunar Palace.

"That Pink Punk rejected me." He growled. "But I think I know how to make her pay!"

He whirled, aiming his staff at the floor. "Deasa!" He shouted.

A brunette boy appeared, blinking and soaked in Gatorade. Zedd smiled. Frightened children were so easy to win.

"Well, well, well. You're a mess." He said. "Hold still a moment, child."

He waved his staff, and Jake was clean.

Jake stared admiringly up at Zedd. "Wow. That's cool!"

"Thank you. I wouldn't do less for the child who exposed the Power Rangers!"

Jake began to smirk. "Aw, that was easy. Kim put it all in her diary."

"Really? And do you remember all of it?" Zedd asked flatteringly. "What a brilliant child you are."

"Thanks." Jake paused. "Hang on. You're Zedd, right?"

"There are very few other skinless people." Zedd said dryly. "I would assume so."

Jake nodded, gathering it in. "So what am I doing here?"

"I thought a child like yourself ought to be properly trained." Zedd explained.

"A child like me?" Jake asked.

"Yes." Zedd stepped closer. "You, little one, are pure evil! With a mind like yours at my side, I could rule Earth through fear! I wouldn't need a single soldier!"

Jake nodded again. "So you want my help?"

"Of course." Zedd said. "And I will train you in return."

Jake hesitated. "Umm...okay!"

Zedd smiled wickedly. "Now tell me. What are the Ranger's weaknessess?"

"Where do you want to start?"

* * *

"That _runt_ is missing!"

Tommy glanced up. "Oh, shit."

"Relax. He doesn't have the diary." Trini sighed. "For a little kid, he can sure run fast."

"Guys, something's up." Kimberly said worridly. "I mean, for all we know, Zedd might have him, or, or Rita might be back, or, or..."

"Kim, it's okay. He probably went to Ernie's to play video games." Tommy soothed. "Come on. Let's go find him."

Half an hour later, there was no sign of him.

Kimberly was almost in tears. "What if he tells someone?" She wailed. "What if he does something and makes everyone think--oh my god, what if Zedd finds him? He could get hurt!"

"Nice to know you're thinking of me."

Kimberly's head whipped around.

Zedd and Jake stood together, hovering in the air. "Guess what, Kim?" Jake said, grinning wickedly. "I can do Magyk now! And Zedd's teaching me how!"

Jason quietly swore. Viciously. In every language he knew.

"Zedd, let him go." Kimberly begged. "Please. He's a kid!"

"Oh, I don't think he'd head to you if you paid him." Zedd taunted smugly. "He's my apprentice now. Isn't that right, Jake?"

"Maybe I should just prove it. Dusinthin!" Jake shouted.

Kimberly dodged the spell.

"Jake, you forgot something." Zedd reminded him, smiling fondly. Really, the boy was like his own son. Much less of a whiner than Thrax, too. "Here. Let me show you."

Suddenly Zack screamed. Loudly.

"S-spiders!" He managed ."S-snakes...oh, god..."

Trini, seeing her best freind incaptitated, took the obvious route.

Zedd went headlong out of the sky, the Yellow Ranger, now morphed, attempting to tear his eyes from his sockets.

"Holy cow." Zack breathed, summing up everyone's thoughts.

Suddenly the world around them changed to pure black.

"Hey!" Zack yelped. "Who turned out the lights?"


	4. Escape

A\N: And let the chaos ensue...BTW, I don't actually know what shamans do. Hey, I'm a teenager, not an encyclopedia.

* * *

Kimberly almost screamed.

Jake was _right there_, in her hands, and suddenly he would vanish._ Before_ Kim could strangle him, beat him with her purse, or otherwise murder him.

Finally she just sank to the ground, exhausted.

"Come on, Kim. Try." Jake taunted, reappearing.

Kimberly made a rude hand gesture and called Jake something a person twice her age shouldn't have known.

Jake just laughed.

"Jake?"

Jake turned and paled. Behind him was Trini.

An _angry_ Trini.

"If you don't leave in the next three seconds, I will personally seperate your astral form from your phsyical self." Trini said quietly. "And I doubt you want to spend eternity as a ghost."

Jake vanished.

Kimberly raised an eyebrow.

"My aunt's a shaman." Trini said, sitting next to Kimberly. "So I picked up a few things. Where're the others?"

"I don't even know where we are."

"The Dark Dimension, I'd guess." Trini said. "This feels like it."

Kimberly frowned.

"Magyk is fairly obvious, once you've sensed it. Come on. Let's go find the boys and kick some butt."

"We're right here." Jason said.

Kimberly jumped up and hurled herself into Tommy's arms. Tommy kissed her, and they spent the next five minutes making out while Trini berated Billy for a bomb-making attempt involving chewing gum, gasoline, and cooking oil.

"How did you guys wind up with that stuff?" Kimberly asked once her attention had reverted to the situation.

"I went shopping and added a few things to the list."

"Hey, we didn't use the nitris oxide!" Zack chirped.

Everyone stared in horrer.

"Kidding, kidding. Billy wouldn't let me buy it. Man, my car would go so fast if I had that stuff..." Zack said wistfully.

"Anyway, aside from Zack's insanity," Tommy said, shaking his head, "Anyone have a plan?"

Kimberly's grin would have made a wookie back down. "I do!" She chirped.

* * *

Jake walked through the Dark Dimensions, calling, "Here, Kimmy, Kimmy...here, Kimmy, Kimmy..."

A fist hit his face, knocking him backwards. Kimberly grabbed Jake's shirt and yanked him up. Behind her, Trini, Jason, and Tommy glowered.

"Now." Kimberly said. "If you want to live, you're taking us out of here."

Jake tried to gather himself up. "I'm not--"

Kimberly dropped him. Jake felt his arm almost break before Jason walked forward, lifted him off the ground, and growled, "Listening to her would be a really good idea."

"Fine." Jake muttered, waving his hand.

The sun shone, air flowed, and Jake was nowhere in sight.

Tommy summed up everyone's feelings perfectly.

"Damnit."


	5. The Chappie Where I Chicken Out And End

A\N: Okay! So I'm back...and hopefully funnier. I'm going to end this now, since I'm lost for joke ides. Glad you guys like it!

* * *

Jake ran.

He was short, but he could run. He'd made track in his school.

Unfortunatly, the Rangers had caught up with him.

"And where do you think you're going?" Jason snarled.

Jake eeped.

The Rangers grinned at each other. "Now." Jason said, smiling. "Let's go see if Zordon can mind-wipe Mr. Snoop here."

* * *

Amazingly, the mind-wipe went off without a hitch.

Zordon taught Kimberly how to cast an anger spell, which didn't spill over to Jake...much. At least, as Tommy remarked, it was only chicken pox. It could easily have been worse.

Life returned to normal.

Kimberly heard Jake whining as she walked in the house. She'd just had the perfect day with Tommy, and Zedd was now leaving her alone, for fear of his life.

She smiled. It was the perfect day.

Until she saw Jake pull out a feather-covered book.

Luckily, she had a plan.

"DIE!!"


End file.
